Faith is always bullshit

I'm done and tired with men and their fucking faith. And the emotionally needy pickme women who support it.

If men had beliefs that actually made them happy, they would be too busy being happy to waste time on spreading wonky beliefs like pentecostal sparkle jizz.

I just need to get rid of the men in my algorithm who have wonky pentecostal sparkle jizz beliefs instead of actual happiness. 

And inspire me going out for actual hugs from real humans instead of me getting weak, getting gullible, getting angry at being weak and gullible, and inevitably choosing hand to hand combat with sparkle wonk bullshit beliefs that always reveal self deluded lies.

And I know the only reason I've been gullible for this bullshit is due to my age, and growing up in the 80s US being emotionally manipulated 24/7 by men who think that if you believe in shit that isn't real hard enough, you make it real. It's a one/zero switch. Either you believe you can do it and start working on it, or choose not to make the effort. 

Living in a miasma of unreal visualization makes nothing real except the desire to spread hallucination as a form of psychosocial confirmation bias. 

But it feels great when everyone has their hands in the air to validate and confirm your preachy pentecostal bullshit, doesn't it. 

I will be happy when everyone who participates in this bullshit eventually gets old and dies. All it does is kill people with hope instead of equip people with reality grounded physical and emotional support that doesn't cost $199 per session. 

That's why I'm a fucking socialist. And sad, and touch starved, and celibate, and too goddamn stubborn to play sparkle pretend for emotional reward in a deluded male centered nation with plenty of faith groups and no reality grounded emotional support. 

I'm going outside to speak this post into the universe. That's as far as I go in the end with faith in anything. 

I fell in love again, no bueno

 

Excuse the rant, I refuse to pay $$$ for therapy. I have Big Think and TED to calm me down.

Yeah after a 1 year absence blogging on fb instead, the short big things version is I built a paradise in the woods, my best friend died, I acquired a crush on a new age pentecostal dipshit while vulnerable, and maga got drowned in the midterms. 50% success rate so far. Since hugs are in short supply, I opt for H2H combat to fill being touch starved.

I have my soul music back. That's all that matters. I sit in my power. I'm a dragon crying over a lizard. But the means always take a pound of emotional flesh.

This limerence is toast 😡 and romance is :poop: and it was always men in sexual relationships who stole my health and energy from me 100% of the time. I'm literally on GLP-1s to take off the diabetic body armor I put on since college to avoid abuse by being looked over, and even that tactic didn't work. 

There was one. I fd that one up with my CPTSD issues caused by ALL THE OTHERS.  That means the whole gender has about a 95% failure rate for me, if I include the morning regrets from my 20s looking at the other side of the bed. I mean it's great that I have my feelings back now, but they are definitely an investment given everything I've built in my life, they cost me dearly and are worth three beemers and a house in Malibu.

All I'm hoping for is another male exception, and no, there literally are NONE. Unless they're my gay best friend who was also, let's face it, emotionally starved by men on all sides, until his root chakra disappeared and let in cancer that gave him permission to leave the emotional gnostic hellplane of merciless heart rending suckage that is this life complicated by the emotional range and compliance pressure of human males. 

At least I can cry for HIM now, because I was done doing it for myself 10 years ago.

And guess who nominate themselves to escort us all to deliverance from this suckage to lord it over us with hopium by playing PRETEND, as long as we're willing participants in pulling the wool over our own eyes.

MEN.

Starting 2 months ago while processing grief and being utterly unable to cry, I drank the free kool aid on a low end pseudo psychic channel, with code written by AI and a greasy charismatic presenter who lied about his age and enforced mediocrity through compliant female moderators. 

So I threw down $111 to the funding link, got the lowdown courtesy of the universe, and started doxxing and throwing chairs. That's how I get the universe to give me the lowdown on a bullshit factory, it's a kind of magick I've been doing since 1996. Give them $111, let the universe dump the facts in my lap immediately afterward, and go ham. Long story. The first time I acquired this power I took down a local chapter of satanists in the 90s and their grievously harmful illegal ventures in a bookstore. If I put $111 in a collection plate, guaranteed that church's dirt's about to get media coverage. 

Except I stayed in love with this channel owner, which I DO NOT APPRECIATE. So it's hours of bringing myself back to reality with Big Think documentaries by therapists explaining the reality of human emotion to me, along with cartoon therapy that explains it to me like I'm 5. 

Time's up, fuckit.

I mean I could go back to being an intellectual monk, but reclaiming my libido is filling what food no longer can due to GLP-1 nausea. You can see now how this vulnerability and the fetters of heterosexuality can be problematic. 

I'm not deleting the Aristogods in the previous post, that's some funny shit. Blasphemy is my therapy. 

My wand is unyielding blackthorn with a core of dragon heartstring, my house is Ravenclaw, my talent is Defense Against the Dark Arts, my name is Carnelian Lovegood. I don't care if the author is a TERF, that universe ran away from her decades ago.

The Aristogods

Captain Jaffa won't get prosecuted for being a pedo and covering it up by killing another pedo in prison. His simps run the system right now. If we don't start up French Resistance tactics, nothing will change. But I would rather fart in Der Fuehrer's Face and all his religious simps simultaneously plus all monotheism simps everywhere worldwide. If you can't handle official blasphemy against the Holy Spirit, keep reading anyway because fuck you, simp.

I'm tired of Humanity's current XY scumbag power system so here's a joke.

---

Once upon a time, the Holy Spirit gave Jesus a reach around while sucking on Jehovah's tiny penis. Then Jesus came and started sucking the Holy Spirit's cock hard because it was long and pencil thin. Then Jehovah came in the Holy Spirit's mouth hard, even though his cock was tiny, and twenty gallons of god spooge covered the Holy Spirit's face. 

Jesus wasn't done yet so Satan came in wearing leather chaps and nipple clamps, tied Jesus up and pounded his ass with a vibrating red leather dildo.

Then Moses showed up and asked if he could join in and the Holy Spirit said, no bitch, we're a thrupple. Go suck Allah's cock. So Moses dropped his jock strap from out his robes and yelled for Allah. Allah showed up and his twin brother Jehovah said 'hey bitch, you're gorgeous', while wiping drippy spooge from under his holy nuts. Moses dropped to his knees because his ancient dick never got hard any more and started sucking Allah's tiny cock hard, and Muhammad walked in the room, saw what was going on and started crying. 

Allah turned to him and said Don't feel bad, you were too young for me to pound your ass earlier. And Muhammad said Just because I'm the chosen one doesn't mean I didn't know you were a pedo. I'm already a pedo, so it doesn't matter, I've been a dancing boy marrying 6 year old girls since 470 AD.  So Muhammad whipped his fat Arabian dick out and started pounding Allah's ass with no god lubricant. Then the Holy Spirit chimed in, I'm a pedo too! I love orphanages and residential schools!

Shiva walked in, saw what was going on and walked out because he likes pussy and gets it because he's nice to Parvati. He told Siddhartha what was going on and Siddhartha observed it bemusedly for 30 seconds. Then all Siddhartha's monks started jerking off and Siddhartha left Club Archon disappointed in them.

After they all finished jizzing and filling the firmament with spooge and war blood they all raised their fists and cried "Patriarchy!" 

Ba dum tss 

Disability Access vs. Dalit Patel

Franchise fuel stations by law must have restrooms accessible for the disabled. Local Mr Patel disagrees with this, and plays dumb with a locked gate or locked access doors to 2 luxurious restrooms meant only for his own. 

Today while running errands was the third time my Code Red diabetic a$$ has begged Mr Patel to provide access while he played stupid. 3 trips to the back with "no it is open or someone is just in there" and I finally slammed my hand on the door repeatedly to prove no one was in there. The first two times the chain link gate was actually locked and Patel shrugged and walked away.

Next time he's earning his diesel commission with Dalit work cleaning up around his restroom access if it's too Dalit for him to use 409 and paper towels daily in a legally required public bog. If he sues me for using his gas station wall, I'll sue for lack of disabled accessibility with no public restrooms for 10 miles in all directions. 

If Patels had a family motto it would be "We are not Dalit and don't you forget it". Meanwhile the rest of us with a little humility own up to our own Dalit work, because this is America. Clean where you crap, Bhuti. No wonder Siddhartha thought it was all bullshit 2500 years ago. It's still bullshit. If your lame excuse is rural smackheads, install blue lights for invisible veins and wipe a gotdamn toilet. Or don't buy a franchise bodega with bad fried chicken and talk like you're the diesel king of Sassafras County because you could only afford a franchise loan and not medical school. 

Sudden business idea: "Rent-A-Dalit" gas station service, except charge $350 a week per Patel for daily bog maintenance, let them yell at you about it while collecting, make a mint setting aside your pride at Bhuti's expense, and buy a bigger house than his.

Because, well, again...this is America. 

The Truth About the TERF Wars

 It amazes me how much frightening blatant misogyny and violent porn gets posted on Reddit. Then I suggest in 4th wave feminism that the real solution to the terf wars is creating an equipment only based group safe space trauma option. Basically just permitting certain  external-equipment-restricted venues for making safe women's SA and DV trauma support (that doesn't at all exclude fully transitioned XY, internalized intersex and XX mtf). 

And I got a 7 day ban for hate speech (LOL.) in the violent, pornographic, androcentric dick positive anus of the Internet, (4chan excepted which is the pit of the worst). Because MtFs are never the problem: trolls are the problem. 

Trolls will scream identity rights from the rooftops for lulz, to torment feminism and divide/conquer, without taking a single estradiol/progesterone pill to start the actual damn journey, and who get off on threatening any feminists with social death if there's any argument with their troll-generated, fake, uncounseled, unprescribed, unsupported female identity declarations.

You have no idea how many bald, greasy, ball scratching skidmarks have told me in my twenties and thirties that they were lesbians trapped in a man's body. This does not make them lesbians, but it makes them jealous. Fast forward 25 years and they have found a community of bearded, ball scratching lesbians online.

I've had feminists on Facebook actually threaten my life for stating the need for safety clarification in select spaces, out of their own fear of ostracization from these trolls.

Due to this I have pretty much sussed that I am that one person who can actually get banned for hate speech on 4chan. The chainsaw gore porn r*pe fantasy core of the Internet. Because men basically want to rule feminism and I say NO, in some cases, external crotch equipment free safe spaces are important too. As important as having gun free venues in a 2nd Amendment country.

I find this hilarious. To trolls, I'm basically the ultimate enemy, and I'm being followed and doxxed as such, when actual terrorists already know that doxxing me is hilarious and fruitless. It's me ruling them and sucking time off their tiny and, frankly, worthless lives.

MtF trans are people with the right to exist. I would never argue with this, and in genuine cases, this is absolute.

Trolls are not.

Until trolls die out, biological women who have experienced violence coming from the 95% statistic of violence gender, have the right to create equipment free venues when necessary. 

If this makes you say TERF, unfriend me now. Because that right will always exist.

Instructions on stopping Qanon-incited insanity in relatives

I don't have a Qanon problem in my family THANK GOODNESS but here are my instructions on a 302 for safety. I am so heartbroken reading about how this is unstopped and destroying families. Some of you have fam in the South and Midwest who may be more susceptible to this; if this is the case, you can sneak instructions to their immediate family for arresting this crowdsourced madness as a last ditch save.

How To Slam Dunk Qanon In Your Immediate Family

This post is for those who have parents (sometimes children...sigh) who have been taken in by Qanon. There is a tactical solution, albeit deliciously evil, called involuntary observation and legal conservatorship. This is specifically for those Qanon believers who have started doing insane things like drinking silver nitrate, chlorine or ivermectin, spending large amounts of money on fear based scams, or handing assets over to known criminals. (Or made violent threats.)

Tell mental health services that they are deliberately ingesting poison or discussing suicide, which of course is concerning, illegal and bars life insurance payouts, and get them shut into a facility for involuntary observation for 2 weeks to 30 days. You can fluff or inflate the facts if necessary because the mental professionals will immediately see that something is seriously wrong anyhow.

Hopefully you have the proof poison sitting in bottles right there, but if not, you have your concern and your word against Qanon crazy. At that point they will be force detoxed off the Internet inside the facility and have a chance to vomit their insanity at a shrink who will start a rehab regimen.

While they're in the facility, hopefully in separate wards so they can't encourage the internet socialized crazy, **immediately** get an attorney. They can help you apply for a guardianship/conservatorship so that older parents can't refuse to grant you Power of Attorney. This will give you power over their expenditures, investments, care costs and property.

Also while they're in the facility, put all firearms in offsite storage, a locked metal safe where only you possess the combination, or better yet, dispose of them entirely. The involuntary observation will be visible to federal authorities in a carry permit search. Submit this to the local authorities to have those permits withdrawn.

With a history of involuntary observation approved by a close family member (you) due to dangerous and violent or suicidal behavior, and attendant proof in the products they are ingesting and wackadoo racist conspiracy things they are saying, you will be able to ruthlessly curate their internet behavior and media consumption. Change over their smartphones to flip phones, and then change their administrative settings on electronics to make you the only admin. Then block all Q websites on their home internet so that Q chatrooms and Anon sites are a no go.

They'll still be able to binge FOX News and various free TV apps that run Blaze and Breitbart news, but the financial damage will be arrested and you will have a hard say in everything that leaves their bank account. They also won't be able to throw a tantrum and change the will. You'll get the silent treatment probably for a while but I'm sure the facility will give them enough treatment not to care nearly as much about your "betrayal" as you think they would when they get out.

Hopefully sheepish and a bit disoriented while blinking in the sunshine of reality. And maybe thankful and embarrassed too.

Perfection

 You were born perfect, your existence is perfect, your failures are perfect, your successes are perfect, your joys are perfect, your traumas are perfect, everything you do is what you do for the reason you do it.

My point is, the filter of judgment you place on yourself is created by you and only you. Perfectionism is only useful for the generation of specific results, and that perfectionism should only be applied to the set of results you desire.

Creating a filter for perfectionism should consist of reflecting on whether or not that perfectionism has any useful role in bleeding over into other aspects of your life. For example, you can be an expert martial artist and still allow yourself at times to sleep in, eat dessert, and self soothe without judging your own actions as weaknesses.

Imagine a Tibetan Rinpoche taking a time out from hours of mantra to smoke a cigarette while still in full non-judgmental Conscious Awareness. The only one judging him is himself, and when he doesn't do that, the only ones judging him are those with unforgiving expectations of what to expect from authority.

When you are your own authority, pretend that you already have an inner Rinpoche who understands that all existence is perfect as-is with all its imperfections, and that the cycle of birth and death, filth and chaos in nature creates the diversity and vista of nature that we call natural beauty and perfection.

At that point, the remaining work that needs to be done is only about generating a result in a particular practice for the good of humankind, and generating anything through yourself needs that filter to avoid suffering from self judgment.