Snowed in: a great way to rotate a food hoarder's pantry

My mother hoards food. It's a child-of-the-Depression thing, except her parents were the children of the Depression. But her self esteem seems hinged on a pantry bursting with crap that it will take years to go through and eat. So when an ice storm from hell isolates us, you can bet I enjoy the hell out of the journey of jungle discovery I can make in the pantry. Looking at the ages of some of the spices about three feet back, I half expect to find generic cans of nuclear crackers and peanut butter from the Reagan era.

This early morning, the ice storm gods have demanded a sacrifice: for me to make two tofu lasagnas at 3 AM out of leftover pasta sauce, all the leftover cheese ends and crumb-carrying cheese bags populating the cheese drawer, mooshed garlic tofu instead of ricotta (which is really good), the multiple jars of lonely antipasta in the back of the fridge with half a teaspoonful of (garlic, roasted peppers, artichoke hearts) left in them, all the lonely leftover vegetables from several dinners, 2/3 huge box of year old lasagna noodles shoved in the back of the cupboard, and a lonely can of cream of mushroom soup transformed with milk, garlic, and parmesan into Bechamel Topping of the Gods. 

Because a) if you want to know what to do with fridge leftovers and pantry sentinels after being snowed in for a week, you call me; and b) all my life I have possessed the Huggins gene for being a gourmet Italian cook in the wee hours, because the world is a roomier place to think and work in when all the other minds in it are quiet and asleep, and the Bolognese tastes better for some reason. 

The last project, last night at 3 AM, was several loaves of fruit bread I made from all the leftover xmas baking fruit and crushed pecans, the never-used frozen cranberries, the unused pin oatmeal, Splenda, treacle, baking powder, allspice, 2 1/2 cups of flour, a cup of water and five smooshed manky bananas. This fruit bread was so good for breakfast it put Tesco's finest teabrack to shame. It's also vegan, which you completely don't notice. The project before that was oatmeal biscuit berry cobbler and chicken stew, and before that, traditional yeast-based stuffed pepperoni bread and baked ziti.

3 AM is the best time to cook, because nobody will question the product if they can't see and judge the process. (ie "NO, I will not eat something you baked with sour milk!" versus "Mmmm, this sweet onion cornbread is to die for!!") Being stuck with what I'm given, and making a celebration out of it, is something I can be inspired to do very very well. Also, busy-baking meatless entrees offsets the parental panic response to there being only one day's worth of meat left in the house. It'll be into Sunday before the roads are melted...maybe.