Blue World My Ass

 

This gigantic epic $8.50 jumbo smoked pork BBQ sandwich with homemade vinegar slaw and homemade BBQ sauce at Joe's Diner in Huntingdon TN, and crawling a few antique malls, was the literal highlight of my day since I was scheduled to do my first pool sale in a supposedly lucrative market after 3 days of training this week.

So my first ever customers were a trailer with a family DEAD SET on the super cheap special $2000 pool for $399, so much so that the huge wheezing dad in a rebel flag headscarf and his toothless son in a 2nd Amendment T shirt unloaded a semiauto clip in the front yard just to impress me.

I WAS NICE

I did the whole sales spiel with my kidneys in my mouth out of sheer terror, and the woman who owned the trailer blowing Marlboro Lights into my face. They didn't give me a surface to work with while my paperwork fell everywhere, didn't even give me a glass of water, and all the questions were regarding the economy pool at every single step. So I explain why a pool with the huge volume of water involved with the special requires $2700 worth of specialized insurance, a lawyer release of liability, a construction crew and a warranty deed, and of course I left the trailer being cussed out sideways.

AT LEAST I DIDN'T GET SHOT

I called the office and told them flat out that I just had to deal with human scum, and if I ever saw hardware in my workplace again unless it was worn by goddamn cops, I would drop their company like a bag of flaming shit. You know what my trainer said? "Well at least you got that one out of the way! I promise they're not all like that"

Oh really? I'll get another one? The next piece of magat tr@il3r tr@5h out in Shitsville Tennessee I have to spiel to while I sit and look at firearm hardware like a bukkake line of dicks in my face, LET ALONE watch them shred a barrel in the front yard with a semiautomatic rifle, makes me want to open carry with a big ass piece on a utility belt and a Che Guevara T shirt as my sales uniform. I won't do that because I want to live, but I will call the office and tell them I left without release because I had to sit with gun toting garbage A-GAIN. And then I'll get fired, and then I'll Fedex them a bag of my poop labeled ATTN: CEO.

But at least this sandwich kicked ass.