The Aristogods

Captain Jaffa won't get prosecuted for being a pedo and covering it up by killing another pedo in prison. His simps run the system right now. If we don't start up French Resistance tactics, nothing will change. But I would rather fart in Der Fuehrer's Face and all his religious simps simultaneously plus all monotheism simps everywhere worldwide. If you can't handle official blasphemy against the Holy Spirit, keep reading anyway because fuck you, simp.

I'm tired of Humanity's current XY scumbag power system so here's a joke.

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Once upon a time, the Holy Spirit gave Jesus a reach around while sucking on Jehovah's tiny penis. Then Jesus came and started sucking the Holy Spirit's cock hard because it was long and pencil thin. Then Jehovah came in the Holy Spirit's mouth hard, even though his cock was tiny, and twenty gallons of god spooge covered the Holy Spirit's face. 

Jesus wasn't done yet so Satan came in wearing leather chaps and nipple clamps, tied Jesus up and pounded his ass with a vibrating red leather dildo.

Then Moses showed up and asked if he could join in and the Holy Spirit said, no bitch, we're a thrupple. Go suck Allah's cock. So Moses dropped his jock strap from out his robes and yelled for Allah. Allah showed up and his twin brother Jehovah said 'hey bitch, you're gorgeous', while wiping drippy spooge from under his holy nuts. Moses dropped to his knees because his ancient dick never got hard any more and started sucking Allah's tiny cock hard, and Muhammad walked in the room, saw what was going on and started crying. 

Allah turned to him and said Don't feel bad, you were too young for me to pound your ass earlier. And Muhammad said Just because I'm the chosen one doesn't mean I didn't know you were a pedo. I'm already a pedo, so it doesn't matter, I've been a dancing boy marrying 6 year old girls since 470 AD.  So Muhammad whipped his fat Arabian dick out and started pounding Allah's ass with no god lubricant. Then the Holy Spirit chimed in, I'm a pedo too! I love orphanages and residential schools!

Shiva walked in, saw what was going on and walked out because he likes pussy and gets it because he's nice to Parvati. He told Siddhartha what was going on and Siddhartha observed it bemusedly for 30 seconds. Then all Siddhartha's monks started jerking off and Siddhartha left Club Archon disappointed in them.

After they all finished jizzing and filling the firmament with spooge and war blood they all raised their fists and cried "Patriarchy!" 

Ba dum tss 

Disability Access vs. Dalit Patel

Franchise fuel stations by law must have restrooms accessible for the disabled. Local Mr Patel disagrees with this, and plays dumb with a locked gate or locked access doors to 2 luxurious restrooms meant only for his own. 

Today while running errands was the third time my Code Red diabetic a$$ has begged Mr Patel to provide access while he played stupid. 3 trips to the back with "no it is open or someone is just in there" and I finally slammed my hand on the door repeatedly to prove no one was in there. The first two times the chain link gate was actually locked and Patel shrugged and walked away.

Next time he's earning his diesel commission with Dalit work cleaning up around his restroom access if it's too Dalit for him to use 409 and paper towels daily in a legally required public bog. If he sues me for using his gas station wall, I'll sue for lack of disabled accessibility with no public restrooms for 10 miles in all directions. 

If Patels had a family motto it would be "We are not Dalit and don't you forget it". Meanwhile the rest of us with a little humility own up to our own Dalit work, because this is America. Clean where you crap, Bhuti. No wonder Siddhartha thought it was all bullshit 2500 years ago. It's still bullshit. If your lame excuse is rural smackheads, install blue lights for invisible veins and wipe a gotdamn toilet. Or don't buy a franchise bodega with bad fried chicken and talk like you're the diesel king of Sassafras County because you could only afford a franchise loan and not medical school. 

Sudden business idea: "Rent-A-Dalit" gas station service, except charge $350 a week per Patel for daily bog maintenance, let them yell at you about it while collecting, make a mint setting aside your pride at Bhuti's expense, and buy a bigger house than his.

Because, well, again...this is America.